I am thinking, lets take a few minutes off fashion for a little while and look at Relationships. i want to ask us a question, and this is directly to those of us in a relationship. i know for a fact, no relationship is perfect, but when the relationship hiccups happens is your relationship worth fighting for?
I read an article about this very discussion on Mommynoire, and i really find the points discussed interesting as i agree with almost what was there.
Many times when asked if your relationship is worth fighting for, the responses are always never fully answered, as People often say “I have tried everything that I possibly could” – but really don’t because often said statement infers that one isn’t fully listening. Other catchphrases often thrown around are “I need time to think” or “I need space” or “We need to take a break,” when most of the time the real problem is never fully addressed in the first place.
But really ladies lets be honest, how do you know the relationship is worth fighting for? i totally agree with the editor, as he pointed out that the answer is whether or not someone wants to live without you.
Once again it comes down to a choice. We often give too much power to love by saying we fall into it, wanting things to progress in a certain manner, etc. It is all a decision. You could literally “fall” in love with anyone if you say to yourself everyday “I want to love *insert name here.*
Before writing this I asked a few of my male friends what gives them the reason to continue to fight for a relationship even when all signs say that the relationship would end. The consensus was that you make a choice, stick with it, and work it out by any means necessary because you don’t want to live a life without them.
I have a friend who has been with someone at this point for two years. Very seldom would he have a good story to tell when I would ask “How’s it going with shorty?” There was-and still is-always some kind of unnecessary drama between the two of them and I personally ask for sheer entertainment value. Eight out of 10 times he would tell me stories so casually and lighthearted manner I would wonder “Why?!” It isn’t that the girl is disrespectful or anything; they just never seem to be able to get on the right page. If anyone else told me these stories I’d say “Just let it go!”
It got to the point in which one day I just straight out asked him “Why are you still fighting when this seems to not be working.” Without pausing or a need to gather his thoughts he said “I can’t see myself living without her. I could-and have-dated others in this time but nobody is her.”
Well damn. He didn’t have to say much more for me to respect that. I said to him “You’re a better man than me.” I was lying like hell. I had been there myself. My girl and I had broken up because she felt that she had tried everything she could to make things work. She moved from Georgia back home to Virginia and was quickly in a new relationship.
Externally unfazed but internally shaking in my boots I dug deep and said “This isn’t over because I said so.” We remained friends and fought every night as if we were in a relationship. That was actually part of the plan. I convinced her that she needed to move back to Atlanta, get her own place, I would even help her find a new job, and she could live her life with her new man. If we broke up and she left in December by March she was living back in Atlanta and back together. I tell the story in a pretty nonchalant tone; but the amount of planning and stress that went into it was crazy. It was worth it.
Essentially, the decision to continue to try to make things work during adverse times is constantly finding a reason to stay. Maybe it is just how
manysome men are wired.
In conclusion, i agree with Cheryl Cole song, “What’s worth having is worth fighting for” . When you love someone who adds value to you, you’ll go through hell to stay with that person.
What’s your take? please share your thoughts.